[catchall] Caelus

[sixillusions]

This doesn't fit Kanda at all but I saw it while I was scrolling and I had to

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[sixillusions]

[He is at the ranch because it's the only place on this island even remotely interesting to him, since it has pumpkins, which is not tempura soba but is one step closer to it.]

Aren't there normal animals around?

[JUST PET A CAT YOU WEIRDO]

[trashprince]

[ he will get you a pumpkin, kanda. all you have to do is ask and ye may receive. ]

Izutsumi scratched me, I'm on a cat break, and Pickles lets me pet him whenever.

[ caelus holds out his hand. a f f e c t i o n week. ]

Let's go.

[sixillusions]

[stares at this hand]

[trashprince]

C'mon.

[ it's there. the hand. ]

[sixillusions]

[NOT THIS ICON

Debating... debating... but ultimately he doesn't take the hand, rip. He does, however, sigh and walk over to this cow, which is basically as good as taking it, right? Right.]

You all will probably have to eat these eventually. [KANDA CAN YOU NOT]

[trashprince]

[ that feel when no handhold.

but he shouldn't have expected any better from kanda. and he doesn't! hand drops as they head into cow territory. it's not kanda running away from caelus' friendly advances, so it's a net win. ]

Not if I name them all.

[sixillusions]

[Sometimes a bunch of cultists tell you that murder rituals are cast on Mondays, alas.]

Huh?

[What does that have to do with anything, thinks Kanda, who kills people with names all the time]

[trashprince]

It's harder to kill something with a name. Then it's more like a person.

[ this is basic psychology kanda are you sure you don't know about this

caelus did just make it up in his head but sounds right. ]

If I named this one Kanda Two [ pats cow ], you'd want it to live more than the ones without names.

[sixillusions]

I'll kill it now if you name it after me.

[PSYCHOLOGY CLASS: FAILED]

[trashprince]

Okay, who's someone you like?

[ if he says no one, caelus will strike him.




no. but imagine. ]

[sixillusions]

[No I'm kidding

But only because it's affection week, which makes him consider the question for real because otherwise it wouldn't have been a gag tag

After a while:]

Marie. [...] But don't name a cow after him.

[THAT'S WEIRD... he doesn't like it]

[trashprince]

[ names the exact cow that izutsumi kills (he does not) ]

In exchange, you have to tell me about him.

[ he stops patting the cow which then tries to bite him, which he misses because he's raising his hand to place it over his chest. ]

[sixillusions]

[Sorry Moorie he didn't make it in time to save you :(]

Why. [HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO THAT EITHER]

[trashprince]

[ devastating tbh ]

You don't talk about your friends back where you came from. I'm curious.

[sixillusions]

He's not my friend. [Okay Kanda] He's just a member of my unit. [Whatever you say Kanda]

[trashprince]

Then tell me about your unit.

[ phrasing ]

[sixillusions]

[sits here silently deciding if he wants to bother......]

[trashprince]

[ clasping his own hands together since they remain unheld ]

Please? And then I won't ask you any other questions for the rest of the day.

[sixillusions]

[FIIIIINE...]

There's only three of us. ...Marie's quiet. He uses headphones to track our vitals and locate enemies. [Kanda won't get into his Innocence because it's not important.] Chaoji's annoying because he's new. He's not over the rest of his crew dying yet. [Thanks Kanda]

There was another, but he's dead. [Said in the same tone as the rest, even though they worked together probably for as long as Kanda has been serving under Tiedoll, but. It's fine. Don't worry about it.]

1/2

[trashprince]

[ kanda speaks crassly about sensitive subjects and since caelus is subject to bias like everyone else, this doesn't bother him. 'he's allowed,' as they say ]

How did he--

2/2

[trashprince]

[ clamps mouth shut. he promised no more questions.

after a beat, when he can trust himself to refrain from any inquiries. ]

I'm sorry you lost someone on your team.

[sixillusions]

[Gives him a Look like "yeah I knew you couldn't control yourself," but--]

Which one?

[He'll allow another question since it's not... well. It is technically personal, but less so than having to field condolences he doesn't want.]

[trashprince]

The guy from your unit who died.

[ kanda is soooooo nice ]

[sixillusions]

[IS THIS NICE... CAELUS YOUR STANDARDS]

Killed by one of the bastards that controls Akuma. We found him chained to a lamp post in town.

[He doesn't mention that Marie had to listen to Daisya's screams as he was excruciatingly murdered by Tyki's Teez. He doesn't mention that they'd found his body strung up like an inverted crucifix, a blatant mockery to show the Noah's hatred of God. And he certainly doesn't mention the way Tiedoll wept for him as he burned a portrait of Daisya's beautiful hometown, right before refusing to return to safety in favor of continuing to do his duty and search for more Exorcists, a desperate push to increase their numbers to the double digits without resorting to horrifically unethical experiments.

He doesn't say any of that, and what he does say comes in a flat, detached tone, like he's reading a mission report. But he does answer, so. Caelus can have that.]

[trashprince]

[ the ease at which his mind fills with questions, each more imposing than the next. kanda offers so little, speaks without wasting a syllable. of course, caelus wants to know more.

but the promise. kanda has already been permissive.

he scratches the cow behind a floppy ear. ]

That's awful.

[ it's not much, but it's not more sorries. ]