[catchall] Caelus

[sixillusions]

This doesn't fit Kanda at all but I saw it while I was scrolling and I had to

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[trashprince]

[ caelus won't ever forget how kind kanda always was to him.

his relief is visible, taking over tired red eyes and pulling down tense shoulders. gradually, he draws himself together, changing to sit properly on the ground, legs now folded pretzel-style. ]

Thank you.

[ that should be it. that should be the exchange. knowing what he does of kanda's backstory, however little, it's not as if the exorcist wants this.

but he's scared. something he can't tell kanda but he's sure is apparent in every word he speaks. ]

The closer we get to tomorrow, the more fake it feels. 'This can't be me.' 'I wouldn't do that.' I'm trying to memorize the things I don't want to lose. How it feels to hold someone's hand. How it feels to talk to you.

[sixillusions]

[He shifts a little, uncomfortable. He isn't made for this. He isn't a person who has words of comfort to offer; he isn't the type to sugarcoat hard truths, and there are no soft reassurances to give to Caelus. He lost himself. Blood must be spilled to finish the ritual. Even if he were permitted to live, it would only be a matter of time before he lost himself again. And Kanda had been irritated by the day's earlier discussions, the idea of leaving people to fear their inevitable relapse into a monster.]

It wasn't you. [At length.] You didn't have a monster inside you before.

[He won't stop Caelus for taking responsibility for what he'd done, but--as a man at the forefront of someone else's battle with a demon inside of them, he has a lot of opinions about the distinction of identities.]

[trashprince]

You're going to make me blush.

[ his face is already red from the crying and his fury at the other guy inside of him, the monster that surfaces seemingly just to tell the people he cares for how caelus killed someone good and kind. the monster tells his friends that caelus is so, so terrified to die. ]

I'm gonna be selfish, like usual.

[ kanda won't leave the pyre? suffer a guard's duty of having to hear the prisoner ramble. ]

If you'd said 'yes,' I would have taken you to the garden. That's where I got the flowers.

[ he doesn't have a jacket anymore, so he taps over his shirt ]

In case you didn't catch it, the rectangle you found was part of my Trailblazer badge. So, it's almost like we went together after all.

[sixillusions]

[Instantly looks annoyed again when Caelus starts rambling about the date that was never going to happen]

Shut up.

[trashprince]

'Kay.

[ caelus will 'shut up,' since kanda promised to swamp and is simply remaining true to himself. like always. it's admirable, something that will have been as true before caelus as after him.

he flops back after a while. lying in the dirt, staring at the sky. he doesn't want to sleep, anyway. ]

[sixillusions]

[They can go back to vibing in silence, then, unless Caelus has anything else to say; if not, Kanda will stay until Lavi comes back from his PCs so that he can have someone around to drag him out of the swamp in case he mcdrowns]

[trashprince]

[ vibing in silence it is.

you are free of me at last, pixi. ty for concert night tags. ]