[He's not in the mood to hood her again, though it's true that he doesn't want to hear it. He really did want her over here. The slight resentment he feels over Cloud and Aerith getting to see her--and similarly, over Gale possibly coming over tomorrow--doesn't really have anything to do with them. He's agitated and unhappy, but not so feral with it that he'll take it out on her. He's glad she's safe.
Nonetheless, there's a flash of pain in his eyes before his expression shifts back to irritation, and he looks away again. He doesn't answer the question, but--]
...I couldn't tell him anything. The other day. [She knows that, because he couldn't talk to her about it all either. But he needs to say it out loud here.] I didn't even get his letter until yesterday. If we learn anything new, it might not even get to them until it's too late.
[ she gets it. part of why she's keeping her mouth shut, even though she is still coping with what happened. she's happy to see her friends again, not just cloud and aerith but him and most everyone else who has ever really been there for her, but she was committed to being there until the end. she thinks it's all she's good for, anyway, killing and sacrificing what she wants. and she really wanted lavi here. she doesn't think he'll make that choice. ]
We've been getting them Monday and Friday. And he knows a lot. He's really smart. And a lot of people have been writing him. He's got Asa too. She can find a new partner.
[ she says quietly, but she knows that's not the issue ]
[Oh. Well. Asa is still demoted to him, but Kanda isn't petty enough to be mad about them working together to get out of this hellscape. Sharing info does not help with the problem of Lavi not being here, but he doesn't say that.]
She might not bother. Not when we were clear about the numbers.
[Not that he thinks it matters all that much anyway. They don't know shit beyond "get as many people as possible away from the cult before they're sacrificed."]
[ well yes but she means about lavi getting info. tch. since he talked about that. aside from aggressively write lavi a letter n she can't do anything about him not being there ]
She gets it. We just thought the plan was to keep our numbers up so the cult wouldn't suspect anything, then cut them down when it's too late for them to stop. Obviously there's no way that's going to fly.
... Mumu told me it's the same amount of danger for all of us no matter if we're here or there. I don't know if it's true.
[He did mention it, though she's right to think that wasn't really the issue anyway. But talking about his real problems and feelings is expecting too much from him.]
It's close enough. [As far as he knows, that's still the plan; so long as they take out at least two more people soon, he doesn't know of anything else they have the power to do. Though he frowns, at that.]
Why? I thought they couldn't touch us here. [Wasn't that the whole point? That they're safely tucked away in a pocket dimension?] We're cut off from the monsters, and Nehan said we're still alive.
[Which also may or may not be true, but he's believing it because otherwise he'll have to add Exorcist Crisis on top of everything else and he just cannot do that right now]
[ she doesn't actually know what the danger for the final five. no one has told her. she just had panic bells over the dead wanting certain people not to be in the final five and assumed the worst. she's truly not the hopeful type ]
[Honestly, that's fair. As far as Kanda knows, the final ones are going to be condemned to sacrifice, and he highly doubts they'll wind up here. That's why he'd pushed for them to get their numbers as low as possible. It's also why he hadn't bothered to clarify after his original reason for wanting Lavi over here became irrelevant.]
...The rest of them are here now. You can ask them.
[Kanda doesn't want to talk to Nehan or Scien right now, and he'd never really been enthused to talk to Essek or Mumu to begin with.]
[ that's what she has assumed. had gotten resigned to it, even. after losing and losing and losing. she'd started to think maybe that's all she was good for. killing people and losing people ]
[ anyway ]
I'll talk to them and let you know.
... In the meantime, I'm crap at the whole feelings thing. But I wanna help. So.... anything to punch around here? Or do you wanna spar?
He hesitates for a second, because accepting kind of feels like admitting he's doing poorly, but. He does need it, and he's glad to have her over here even though he's shit at showing it. It's not hard to understand how shitty she must be feeling right now too, and he knows what it feels like to wake up from a murder that you should've been more than capable of handling.
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sixillusions) wrote2024-06-08 12:22 pm
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[ instead of her but she's not saying that out loud because he will hood her again ]
How are you, really?
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Nonetheless, there's a flash of pain in his eyes before his expression shifts back to irritation, and he looks away again. He doesn't answer the question, but--]
...I couldn't tell him anything. The other day. [She knows that, because he couldn't talk to her about it all either. But he needs to say it out loud here.] I didn't even get his letter until yesterday. If we learn anything new, it might not even get to them until it's too late.
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We've been getting them Monday and Friday. And he knows a lot. He's really smart. And a lot of people have been writing him. He's got Asa too. She can find a new partner.
[ she says quietly, but she knows that's not the issue ]
But it sucks like hell.
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What does Asa have to do with it?
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[ since you never swapped with her you never got to know this, kanda ]
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She might not bother. Not when we were clear about the numbers.
[Not that he thinks it matters all that much anyway. They don't know shit beyond "get as many people as possible away from the cult before they're sacrificed."]
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She gets it. We just thought the plan was to keep our numbers up so the cult wouldn't suspect anything, then cut them down when it's too late for them to stop. Obviously there's no way that's going to fly.
... Mumu told me it's the same amount of danger for all of us no matter if we're here or there. I don't know if it's true.
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It's close enough. [As far as he knows, that's still the plan; so long as they take out at least two more people soon, he doesn't know of anything else they have the power to do. Though he frowns, at that.]
Why? I thought they couldn't touch us here. [Wasn't that the whole point? That they're safely tucked away in a pocket dimension?] We're cut off from the monsters, and Nehan said we're still alive.
[Which also may or may not be true, but he's believing it because otherwise he'll have to add Exorcist Crisis on top of everything else and he just cannot do that right now]
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That's just what she said. but I don't know.
[ she doesn't actually know what the danger for the final five. no one has told her. she just had panic bells over the dead wanting certain people not to be in the final five and assumed the worst. she's truly not the hopeful type ]
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...The rest of them are here now. You can ask them.
[Kanda doesn't want to talk to Nehan or Scien right now, and he'd never really been enthused to talk to Essek or Mumu to begin with.]
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[ anyway ]
I'll talk to them and let you know.
... In the meantime, I'm crap at the whole feelings thing. But I wanna help. So.... anything to punch around here? Or do you wanna spar?
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He hesitates for a second, because accepting kind of feels like admitting he's doing poorly, but. He does need it, and he's glad to have her over here even though he's shit at showing it. It's not hard to understand how shitty she must be feeling right now too, and he knows what it feels like to wake up from a murder that you should've been more than capable of handling.
So he nods.]
There's a dojo.
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I heard about it, and I'm glad I finally get to test it out! Wanna go?
[ do violence for her, kanda. it's the only thing she's good for ]
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[He is very willing to get out Feelings by doing a violence with her though, absolute same mood in prefering to punch it out]
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[ they are gonna have a fun time punching each other teehee ]