[ the silence is appreciated, and she gets by now he isn't really the conversational sort.
and when he speaks again, it's not quite the question she's expecting. she thinks on it a moment. ]
I wasn't, at first. I didn't know what 'monster' really meant.
...The risk gets worst every week, too, but I think it's worth a shot, if it's the only thing we can do differently. As long as my partner feels the same, of course.
[In truth, it's mainly because of another conversation he had recently; someone desperate for the power of the wish, regardless of the cost to themselves or others. Kanda knows his own answer, and it's extremely unlikely that it will ever change, but seeing her stuck in that place--he'd wondered if maybe she, too, thought it would be worth it.
Still, it's probably not surprising when he shakes his head.]
No. It's not worth it.
[Whether he would've explained more is a toss-up, because he's Kanda--but it doesn't matter anyway, because as he says it, another memory begins to play.]
[ for her, it's not about that wish, no matter how desperate her own situation might be—it's about trying to find a way to stop the ritual, to save those who remain. and if someone shares that same resolve and that hope, then she'd be willing to join her life with theirs.
even so, she understands and respects kanda's decision. she's spoken with many different people about it, come to many different conclusions. no two experiences are the same, and the meaning of a bond to her is likely very different than his.
...nevermind that. this memory is... very strange to her, but she catches some of the context merely by being in it. artificial apostle. second exorcist. a grave and unforgivable mistake. the lingering illusion of lotuses.
she looks at him quietly. ]
...Those flowers... what do they mean? Can you still see them, even here...?
[This memory... there are worse ones to be spilled, but he's not particularly thrilled about it, even with Aqua being on the receiving end. It's relatively vague, at least, and he doesn't think Aqua will push for more answers than he's willing to give, so he doesn't look super angry as the vision fades--just irritated at the violation in general.]
[ it's true she doesn't pry, though she is still inquisitive by nature so she will ask more questions as far as he'll answer them... ]
...I see. Lavi mentioned earlier that you weren't an exorcist by choice. Is that what the program had meant...?
[ a slight frown of concern. she's not expecting him to elaborate, but still hoping to confirm general facts/context. (and lavi had also explained, briefly, what innocence and akuma were so she's familiar with those terms at least...) she's like wow, this weird venn diagram between exorcists, sorcerers, and keyblade masters... ]
no subject
and when he speaks again, it's not quite the question she's expecting. she thinks on it a moment. ]
I wasn't, at first. I didn't know what 'monster' really meant.
...The risk gets worst every week, too, but I think it's worth a shot, if it's the only thing we can do differently. As long as my partner feels the same, of course.
What about you?
no subject
Still, it's probably not surprising when he shakes his head.]
No. It's not worth it.
[Whether he would've explained more is a toss-up, because he's Kanda--but it doesn't matter anyway, because as he says it, another memory begins to play.]
no subject
even so, she understands and respects kanda's decision. she's spoken with many different people about it, come to many different conclusions. no two experiences are the same, and the meaning of a bond to her is likely very different than his.
...nevermind that. this memory is... very strange to her, but she catches some of the context merely by being in it. artificial apostle. second exorcist. a grave and unforgivable mistake. the lingering illusion of lotuses.
she looks at him quietly. ]
...Those flowers... what do they mean? Can you still see them, even here...?
no subject
It's nothing. Just part of a memory.
no subject
...I see. Lavi mentioned earlier that you weren't an exorcist by choice. Is that what the program had meant...?
[ a slight frown of concern. she's not expecting him to elaborate, but still hoping to confirm general facts/context. (and lavi had also explained, briefly, what innocence and akuma were so she's familiar with those terms at least...) she's like wow, this weird venn diagram between exorcists, sorcerers, and keyblade masters... ]
no subject
He won't answer that specific question, but he will give her more context.]
Innocence chooses who it synchronizes with. Not just anyone can use it. Once you become an Exorcist, you die in the war one way or another.
[Whether you like it or not!!!]