Kanda Yuu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sixillusions) wrote2024-06-08 12:03 pm
sixillusions) wrote2024-06-08 12:03 pm
[catchall] Caelus
This doesn't fit Kanda at all but I saw it while I was scrolling and I had to
This doesn't fit Kanda at all but I saw it while I was scrolling and I had to
Week 2, Monday
When they cross paths, Caelus gets to see this memory! CW for mentions of child experimentation but you are canon familiar so I assume it's fine BUT JUST IN CASE]
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pure speculation.
he spots his target, waves with his bat in his hand, then disappears into the other's memory.
kanda has mentioned names, but not alma's and not with forthcoming detail. if he weren't tied to kanda's point of view, caelus would wander the echoes of a time passed and view these strangers from every angle. nosy in sheer desperation to understand. however, he's tied to kanda's existence as it already occurred; no ability to veer off track.
stuck to a script.
Most humans have at least two names.
is that so?
this isn't how caelus wanted to find anything out. it should have come naturally, by kanda's choice. they should slowly come to know and trust one another through shared experience. even if kanda hates people. maybe, especially because kanda hates people.
the memory comes to a close and caelus is the one with embarrassingly wet eyes. a hasty rub of the back of his gloved hand against them. ]
Kanda...
[ should it be 'yuu?' would he be permitted? he won't test it. it's a tenuous moment. ]
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What.
[Annoyed, but tired; the voice of a man who has been exploited in countless ways, including this very experience of having his memories violated and perceived. There's absolutely no guarantee he'll answer any questions or provide extra context--in fact, chances are higher that he won't--but at least he's not storming off in outrage.]
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[ the offer comes after several long seconds of hemming and hawing, during which caelus can't decide if he should run away as a gift to kanda. ]
I want to earn your trust.
[ there, said the thing. ]
There's no point if I find out more without you wanting me to.
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But he can set that aside for a minute to address the more important issue here.]
You can't. [He says it very plainly, like there's no room for negotiation. Putting aside Kanda's own preference for solitude, the way he doesn't, and likely won't ever, want anyone to find out more about him than the very, very little he's willing to share--there are logistics to consider. Such as:] And you shouldn't trust me either. You don't even know if I'm still myself.
[EXHIBIT A: ALFYN IS CURRENTLY BEING ATTACKED BY A MONSTER WEARING ISHTAR'S FACE well not anymore but it was a minute ago]
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caelus' ears burn with the sound of that. like it or not, he has better context for the lonely life that kanda has led, although it's more of a skeleton without the defining meat, the lively rush of blood. okay, then. kanda has decided he will never trust anyone and he includes caelus among that number.
it's probably his right, given everything. so, caelus has to accept that. a one-sided friendship, is it? he's always been fond of trying new experiences. ]
Would a possessed you warn me? If you were on the hunt for victims, it'd make more sense if you kept me around.
[ hands on hips ]
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You're naive. [It sounds harsh--and it is, because Kanda wouldn't know how to be soft even if he wanted to--but it isn't meant to be cruel.] You can't use that kind of logic here. If anything, you've made yourself an easy target by proving you won't listen to warnings.
[Maybe he's fine today, but what about tomorrow? The next day? Isn't Nona proof that they won't all show themselves like Boothill and Erin did?
He thinks of the Akuma that stole his Finder's face, fooling him until the last minute; of the Noah that slipped seamlessly through their defenses with the disguise of another's face. There are people Kanda trusts, because even he can't live a life of total isolation--but even the meager reassurances he has back home hold no water here. He can't even trust that Lavi will be okay. How could he possibly lower his guard for strangers?
And even without those concerns... there's so little that's ever been solely his. None of it matters as much as those last, precious moments, the ones he'd be furious over if anyone else saw them--but it's still frustrating to have his heart pried open yet again, even in this relatively small way.]
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the opposite of kanda. ]
I listen to warnings, but I already know you're stronger than I am. If you're going to kill me, it will happen whether I avoid you or not. And I don't want to--
[ the world turns dark.
and then he sees the doomsday beast.
he feels the frenzied stellaron expanding in his chest, the all-consuming gaze of nanook--aeon of destruction, kafka promising him a future where his will paves the path.
the moment when it's all going to end far too soon. he hasn't been awake for long. he's only known march and dan heng and himeko for the length of a blink. already a failed project. already about to kill everyone.
until welt saves him. he falls. one memory blurs into the next.
he speaks to kafka on the luofu, helping her although he has his misgivings.
she invites him to play a game, a chance to learn the truth for once. it's not that caelus outsmarts her--he out-bizarres her. it's not easy.
kafka says, "You are an artificial body created for the purpose of hosting a Stellaron. From the moment of your birth, it was your destiny to receive the Stellaron at Herta Space Station... Because you were created for that purpose — your body has been transformed by the power of an Aeon. You are immune to Stellaron contamination. Therefore, you could say that you are a one-of-a-kind Stellaron vessel."
not what caelus wanted to hear but something half-expected. he wants to know so much more. he wants to know everything.
kafka is in a hurry. he lets her go.
and then the darkness returns, leaving him man-standing-emoji in front of kanda back in scawwy. ]
...I didn't mean to do that.
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There's no point in pretending he didn't see it, and Kanda isn't polite enough to bother trying.]
...None of us have.
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It didn't have to be like that, though. I would have told you.
[ kanda didn't ask, but he didn't expect him to. ]
But you wouldn't tell me about Akuma. I got worried that maybe if you knew about me...
[ that kanda would conflate whatever caelus is with whatever an akuma is. not an entirely unfounded fear when nobody knows the full truth. ]
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But he can't get too annoyed if Caelus was worried given that he did attack multiple people Weekend 0 out of paranoia,,, granted he didn't start it with Boothill BUT STILL. He doesn't say "relax, I know you're fine," but he can offer his version of it, at least.]
I'm pretty sure there aren't any here. [There's no guarantee, not with the Noah, but--] If they were involved, they would've shown themselves by now. And that's not how they're made anyway.
[Would he have demanded Caelus show him his blood if this had happened last week. Maybe. But now he's less paranoid about Akuma because he's busy being paranoid about monster possessions! Yippee]
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[ motions swinging a sword with his hand. ]
Today, anyway.
[ caelus is aware that kanda won't hold back should the worst happen come saturday. (it doesn't! hooray!) ]
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I'll cut down whatever I need to to get us out of here.
[So if Caelus becomes an obstacle to that end goal, then yes, he'll swing without hesitation--but there would be no point to killing him simply because he's not human. He'd attacked Karlach and Astarion out of paranoia, and he won't apologize for doing so, but he really doesn't make a habit of stabbing every random weirdo on the street.]