But, as a member of the church, this is hardly the first time he's seen someone praying, and he's (shockingly) not so rude (these days) that he'd interrupt, at least not when they're both in a public space. Whether he thinks it's stupid or not, well. He'll keep that to himself unless Rondo gets annoying about it.
[ the way i also got distracted and forgot about this last night god
i'm proud of kanda for character growth. rondo finishes his verbal prayer - it seems less likely to get interrupted by the river of dale if he's speaking it out loud, at least, and it's a chance to sit with the memories of what happened last week. a chance to remember. as he finishes, he looks up, then realizes a moment later he has company, then shakes his head. ]
Mm-mm. Alfyn and Todomatsu are both resting in one of the houses, so I thought that I might join them. Just in case.
[ as the flameguard, it is his duty to guard and protect, and alfyn in particular feels like his responsibility. there's little he can do, of course, but... futile as it is, it's better than nothing. ]
If they tried the same thing again, it probably will. [He doesn't really see why they wouldn't. He's pretty sure the Overseers had to grovel to let them be conscious for any length of time to begin with, actually.] But it may be easier to fight it if we're aware.
[He's quiet for a little while--but eventually he sighs.]
You have things outside of here that are dear to you. [He doesn't need to pose it as a question--that much is obvious from the way Rondo's devoted himself to mastering this sword that isn't is, and from the way Rondo wears his identity so proudly.] Don't get so caught up in this that you forget that.
[Part of the reason he doesn't want anyone hesitating is because he doesn't want to see more bloodshed than they already will. But that's also why he says this, now--faltering out of sympathy for a stranger and failing to make it home to the people that matter most would be foolish, as far as he's concerned. We are destroyers, not saviors--those are words for exorcists, so he holds them back now, but. He thinks it still applies.]
boy. he's quiet for a moment, holding those words and processing them - he thinks about home. about orsterra, hanging in the balance. about what the guardians might be doing without him. about cordelia. about...
...the further implication hits him a moment later, and rondo glances to the side at his profile.
there's another long pause. ]
...Mr. Kanda... [ ... ] Why do you swing your sword?
[ rondo reaches up and presses his hand to his own heart, curling in the fabric of his cloak, almost absently, as he talks. he's quiet for once in his life, just pulling those words apart, letting them sink in. ]
So... for a duty. [ ... ] If you weren't chosen, would you still want to?
[This would be a great time to provide personal context and talk about his thoughts and feelings on the matter, so naturally, he doesn't do that.]
The Earl and the Noah aim to plunge the world into darkness. They've been fighting for that for thousands of years. Without Exorcists, we'd all be dead anyway.
[Which isn't what Rondo was asking--but it answers the question in a way. He simply can't conceptualize a world in which he didn't know about the war. The choices he's made, the things he's doing now... he knows the true answer to Rondo's question, the one he won't give out to a stranger, but--beyond that, it's just very difficult to think of what life would look like as a commoner.]
[ squeezes him like a fucking squeaky toy until his eyes pop out KANDA KANDASON
but. no, he's at least clever enough to understand. it's more than just a duty. it's everything, every moment. in a sense, he gets that too, and he keeps that hand resting on his heart, looking out on the horizon. ]
...Thousands of years. [ ominous. it's scary to think about in the context of home, too - his brow furrows, mouth pulling into a tight frown. ] I see what you mean.
What are they? The Earl and the Noah. Entities...? To what ends would plunging the world into darkness serve them...?
...I see. [ ... ] Though... our situation is not so long lasting, it's not dissimilar. Someone seeks to eliminate all of the human race, in Orsterra, by using the forces of Hell and the power of the Accursed Flame.
It's... I don't know if it's disheartening or comforting, to know that others face similar struggles.
[Kanda doesn't think he should find it disheartening or comforting, really--it's a simple matter of fact, to him. Where there are people, there's conflict; the war he fights in may concern the fate of humanity, but it's just one in a laundry list of conflicts across the globe. But he doesn't share Rondo's apparent passion for his role, even if he fulfills his own with diligence, so of course he would want to separate emotion from the whole thing.]
Swinging your sword isn't about being strong or brave. The one fighting you isn't going to care if you're feeling weak or scared. If you want to survive, you have to cut them down anyway.
[The only real choice is, do I die here and now? or do I try to live a little longer? And it's complicated for him, but--ultimately, Kanda has always chosen to live. Despite the things it's cost him.]
[ there's something about that specific phrasing - it's just how people are - that clearly sticks, too.
he's quiet, for a moment. ]
...Maybe. But I think there's more to people than that. [ sure, some of them want to cause conflict. some want to destroy the world. some of them are awful. some feel tremendous desire for the things they can't have, and they steal and take and kill just to take them. but some don't; some are altruistic, some are kind. some are loving and warm. and sometimes, people are both. where there is conflict, there is also agreement. two sides of the same coin.
rondo folds his hands together in his lap, looking outwards. he's unusually thoughtful, or, at least more measured than ever - his voice is soft but steady, expression focused out on the horizon, on a distant conflict himself. ]
As for being strong or not... I know that, too. Even if they're someone you care about - it won't matter. All that matters is your skills, and if you have the resolve to be the one to win. [ and that sure matters here, too. ] I guess that 'being strong' is... about finding that strength within myself, not what others see of it.
[ there's another long pause, and he turns his head, finally. ]
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But, as a member of the church, this is hardly the first time he's seen someone praying, and he's (shockingly) not so rude (these days) that he'd interrupt, at least not when they're both in a public space. Whether he thinks it's stupid or not, well. He'll keep that to himself unless Rondo gets annoying about it.
Eventually:]
Are you staying here?
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i'm proud of kanda for character growth. rondo finishes his verbal prayer - it seems less likely to get interrupted by the river of dale if he's speaking it out loud, at least, and it's a chance to sit with the memories of what happened last week. a chance to remember. as he finishes, he looks up, then realizes a moment later he has company, then shakes his head. ]
Mm-mm. Alfyn and Todomatsu are both resting in one of the houses, so I thought that I might join them. Just in case.
[ as the flameguard, it is his duty to guard and protect, and alfyn in particular feels like his responsibility. there's little he can do, of course, but... futile as it is, it's better than nothing. ]
What about you, Mr. Kanda?
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(This is a joke. Maybe.)
He doesn't make any rude comments, though; he just nods, filing that away. Serious mission mode...]
The Rabbit and I are staying here. If we can stay awake, we might see any commotions around the town.
[It's worth a try, anyway.]
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[ why is he a rabbit. well, at least he's learning how to speak kanda?? ]
...If you do, will you let me know? I'm going to try my best to stay awake, too.
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Yes. [...] But don't let your guard down if nothing happens tonight. We don't know their schedule.
[Just that the cult will almost certainly fuck around some more in general...]
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Of course, Mr. Kanda. I've done my due diligence not to let my guard down here at all, so far, and I intend to continue.
[ aside from being like, turned into a dog. and, well... ]
Whatever spell was cast over us to force us to sleep last week - I pray that won't happen again, either.
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If they tried the same thing again, it probably will. [He doesn't really see why they wouldn't. He's pretty sure the Overseers had to grovel to let them be conscious for any length of time to begin with, actually.] But it may be easier to fight it if we're aware.
[spoilers it won't be]
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Yes... I think so, too. [ spoilers! it won't be.
he's quiet, for a long moment. ] ... Between this and last Sunday - there is nothing more frustrating than knowing we are kept from helping.
[ from stopping it. from protecting others. ]
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You have things outside of here that are dear to you. [He doesn't need to pose it as a question--that much is obvious from the way Rondo's devoted himself to mastering this sword that isn't is, and from the way Rondo wears his identity so proudly.] Don't get so caught up in this that you forget that.
[Part of the reason he doesn't want anyone hesitating is because he doesn't want to see more bloodshed than they already will. But that's also why he says this, now--faltering out of sympathy for a stranger and failing to make it home to the people that matter most would be foolish, as far as he's concerned. We are destroyers, not saviors--those are words for exorcists, so he holds them back now, but. He thinks it still applies.]
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boy. he's quiet for a moment, holding those words and processing them - he thinks about home. about orsterra, hanging in the balance. about what the guardians might be doing without him. about cordelia. about...
...the further implication hits him a moment later, and rondo glances to the side at his profile.
there's another long pause. ]
...Mr. Kanda... [ ... ] Why do you swing your sword?
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Exorcists are apostles chosen by God. [He answers, eventually.] Once you synchronize with Innocence, you fight in the Holy War until you die.
[One way or another.]
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So... for a duty. [ ... ] If you weren't chosen, would you still want to?
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For a minute he looks a little annoyed, like he wants to argue the word "duty"--but he doesn't. Instead:]
Would you?
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his gaze flicks over his, briefly, and he thinks about it. ]
Well... I don't know the context, entirely. [ ... ] But it's not that different from my own situation. So... I would.
[ a beat. ] ... You wouldn't?
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The Earl and the Noah aim to plunge the world into darkness. They've been fighting for that for thousands of years. Without Exorcists, we'd all be dead anyway.
[Which isn't what Rondo was asking--but it answers the question in a way. He simply can't conceptualize a world in which he didn't know about the war. The choices he's made, the things he's doing now... he knows the true answer to Rondo's question, the one he won't give out to a stranger, but--beyond that, it's just very difficult to think of what life would look like as a commoner.]
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but. no, he's at least clever enough to understand. it's more than just a duty. it's everything, every moment. in a sense, he gets that too, and he keeps that hand resting on his heart, looking out on the horizon. ]
...Thousands of years. [ ominous. it's scary to think about in the context of home, too - his brow furrows, mouth pulling into a tight frown. ] I see what you mean.
What are they? The Earl and the Noah. Entities...? To what ends would plunging the world into darkness serve them...?
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They say they're the true apostles of God. They hate us and Innocence. If they want anything else, they haven't told me.
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there's a soft huff. ]
...I see. [ ... ] Though... our situation is not so long lasting, it's not dissimilar. Someone seeks to eliminate all of the human race, in Orsterra, by using the forces of Hell and the power of the Accursed Flame.
It's... I don't know if it's disheartening or comforting, to know that others face similar struggles.
no subject
[Kanda doesn't think he should find it disheartening or comforting, really--it's a simple matter of fact, to him. Where there are people, there's conflict; the war he fights in may concern the fate of humanity, but it's just one in a laundry list of conflicts across the globe. But he doesn't share Rondo's apparent passion for his role, even if he fulfills his own with diligence, so of course he would want to separate emotion from the whole thing.]
Swinging your sword isn't about being strong or brave. The one fighting you isn't going to care if you're feeling weak or scared. If you want to survive, you have to cut them down anyway.
[The only real choice is, do I die here and now? or do I try to live a little longer? And it's complicated for him, but--ultimately, Kanda has always chosen to live. Despite the things it's cost him.]
no subject
he's quiet, for a moment. ]
...Maybe. But I think there's more to people than that. [ sure, some of them want to cause conflict. some want to destroy the world. some of them are awful. some feel tremendous desire for the things they can't have, and they steal and take and kill just to take them. but some don't; some are altruistic, some are kind. some are loving and warm. and sometimes, people are both. where there is conflict, there is also agreement. two sides of the same coin.
rondo folds his hands together in his lap, looking outwards. he's unusually thoughtful, or, at least more measured than ever - his voice is soft but steady, expression focused out on the horizon, on a distant conflict himself. ]
As for being strong or not... I know that, too. Even if they're someone you care about - it won't matter. All that matters is your skills, and if you have the resolve to be the one to win. [ and that sure matters here, too. ] I guess that 'being strong' is... about finding that strength within myself, not what others see of it.
[ there's another long pause, and he turns his head, finally. ]
... Thank you, Mr. Kanda. I think I understand.