[ he sucks in a breath. in, out. noisily, a little wet, but his voice is determined. ]
I will.
[ he has to. he knows kanda is right - he's exactly right. that he needs to bolster his confidence. it's gotten better - a lot better - recently, and he no longer finds himself so deeply relying on others to be strong. he's found his own resolve, gripped it as tightly as he could and used it to take on sazantos, unafraid, brave and true.
but sitting here in this terrible place, holding the weapon that contains pieces of them both, it's so hard to just let him go. every decision he's had to make involving his former mentor has been impossible, but he will - he will always, always, always take the right path. no matter how impossible it is.
he lifts the sword up to look at it vertically, and tries the statement again. ]
... I woke up here, with this sword, my rightful blade as the Flameguard.
[Kanda isn't the sort of person who gives pep talks and reassurances. He doesn't form attachments. Even if he'd wanted to (and he really, truly doesn't, for a whole host of reasons he won't ever explain willingly), the circumstances of this place, and the rapidly escalating body count, are instant, repeated reminders of why he lives the way he does. He can't waste time mourning the dead when there are still people to be saved. He won't get invested in people he could very easily lose tomorrow.
(He's already had enough of grief to last lifetimes.)
All he can do, all he will do, is things like this: remind people of who they are, and what they're fighting for. Rondo reasserts himself--and Kanda doesn't look proud, or praise him, or anything like that. He doesn't speak at all, but, given it's him, that's probably a good sign.]
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I will.
[ he has to. he knows kanda is right - he's exactly right. that he needs to bolster his confidence. it's gotten better - a lot better - recently, and he no longer finds himself so deeply relying on others to be strong. he's found his own resolve, gripped it as tightly as he could and used it to take on sazantos, unafraid, brave and true.
but sitting here in this terrible place, holding the weapon that contains pieces of them both, it's so hard to just let him go. every decision he's had to make involving his former mentor has been impossible, but he will - he will always, always, always take the right path. no matter how impossible it is.
he lifts the sword up to look at it vertically, and tries the statement again. ]
... I woke up here, with this sword, my rightful blade as the Flameguard.
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(He's already had enough of grief to last lifetimes.)
All he can do, all he will do, is things like this: remind people of who they are, and what they're fighting for. Rondo reasserts himself--and Kanda doesn't look proud, or praise him, or anything like that. He doesn't speak at all, but, given it's him, that's probably a good sign.]