But Lavi seems to let it go, so Kanda does too. He moves his now-empty bowl out of the way, drawing one leg up to rest his arm on it--but otherwise, he lets Lavi lean on him and watches as the festival begins to light up with artificial lights. Leaning back a little, in return.]
Yeah. [It's a little surprising--he hadn't thought they'd been out here that long. He's gotten desensitized to enduring gatherings...] Are we heading back?
[He really didn't ask any questions about this festival so he has no idea what Lavi wants to do]
[obviously this is lavi's fault for not being horny enough...
but for now, he's content to sit here and lean, feeling more peaceful than he's had for weeks. Strange, when he's back in this world and all its familiar dangers, arguably worse than Scawwy's, where an Akuma could appear out of nowhere -- or worse, the Noah -- showing up to finish whatever job they tried to start with Lavi back in China. He waits for that familiar tension, for his shoulders to tense up and for his hands to curl into fists, like they did the first few weeks in Scawwy whenever that fight came to mind.
Instead, his shoulder presses against Kanda's, and he moves his hand idly to and fro, feeling the bracelet slide up and down. He's not stronger or faster or smarter than he was before, but he's still not afraid. He's not thinking of the fight and the numerous ways he could fail at doing better. He's only thinking of the last bit of sunshine on Kanda's face, the breeze teasing strands from his ponytail, and of how he'd like this moment to last forever.]
Later. Let's just watch for a bit.
[Far enough so that the crowd doesn't seem quite as dangerous, lights bright in the distance. They can hear the thumping of drums even on this hill, and at any other time, the music would make Lavi want to dance.
He peeks over at Kanda.... thinking thoughts..... then he reaches his arm out to wrap around Kanda's shoulders, teehee]
But Kanda nods, accepting that easily. He may not be a festive person, but he likes being outside--and he can see some of the people below them getting up to head back to the festival proper now that the sky is changing colors and distant music is filling the air. More space for them... it's the perfect balance of involvement and distance for someone like Kanda, who keeps away from the thick of things during parties and gatherings but shows up to them nonetheless.
He's perfectly content to just vibe quietly next to Lavi--his guard is never down, but like Lavi, his mind is clear and settled for once. He's not thinking about the difficulty of what they're trying to do, or the constant danger they're in, or even how strange it'll be when they have to part ways again because Komui can't afford to let them stick together. He's spent so much time with all of those thoughts already, and they're sure to keep haunting him later. It won't kill him, he thinks, to sit in the moment right now.
But a clear mind means he's not really thinking about how nice it is to have Lavi beside him, either, even though he feels that way. It's a little startling to feel Lavi's arm around him, but he supposes it shouldn't be--Lavi likes to touch, he knows that very well. He looks away from the festival to eye Lavi's face, searching his expression for any signs of mischief... but if he doesn't find any, then after a little bit of thought, he'll relax (kind of) against him. Permission granted]
[🥺🥺🥺 <- Lavi's expression without an OUNCE of mischief 😊😊😊 <- Lavi's expression when Kanda relaxes (kind of) against him, hehehe
Lavi, being very new to the trials and tribulations of dating and opening ones heart to love and affection, feels like the closest to this emotion would be the joy one feels when the neighborhood cat who's been ignoring you for years has finally deigned to affectionately loaf next to you... That's really the closest description he can think of. Luckily for HIM, he knows from experience that the response is not to scoop up said cat and embrace it, but to play it off as casually as possible...
He looks out to the festival and pretends that whatever going on over there is more interesting than the fact that he is sitting next to Kanda, head on his, with his arm around him -- without suffering grievous injury to his head and abdomen for the audacity.]
[Lavi as Aki when a cat at the cat cafe sat on his lap and he just froze and whispered I'VE BEEN CHOSEN
Naturally, Kanda just scoffs, though there's no real heat to it.]
It had better be. [This sounds so arrogant but he assumes Lavi is talking about hanging out and having fun at the festival in general. Imagine if Lavi snuggled up like this and was like "this sucks actually" KANDA WOULD KICK HIS ASS]
[I have no plan for this BUT LET'S SAY IT'S AFTER THEY'VE CAUGHT UP WITH ALLEN.... AND I GUESS JOHNNY AND LINK ARE ALSO HERE??? IDK IF TIEDOLL IS OR NOT but it's fine. The important part is that we are WRITING LAVI INTO THIS STORY OURSELVES SINCE HOSHINO WON'T DO IT!!!
Around the others, Kanda acts the same as he always does, naturally; apart from the shock of Kanda showing up with Lavi at all after months of him being missing, offering no explanation beyond "found him" because he's KANDA, it's... relatively easy for the others to brush off any changes in their behavior. Lavi's pushed Kanda's boundaries for years, after all, and Kanda went through so much in his absence--tolerating Lavi more openly is hardly worth mentioning compared to the way Kanda's dedicated himself to helping Allen, of all people. And while that might not be enough to satisfy, say, Allen's eagle eye, they currently have far more important things to worry about. If anyone has thoughts about the way , they've wisely kept quiet about it for now.
(The matching bracelets are harder to wave off, and Kanda hasn't bothered to keep his hidden, but he's also the king of refusing to explain himself, so maybe it all balances out?? WHO'S TO SAY.)
It's been a very long day, and Kanda isn't surprised when the others fall asleep early--they weren't put through the Scawwy wringer like Lavi and Kanda were, but they didn't have the time to recuperate, either. A tiny, tiny part of him feels a little guilty for their dawdling, but Kanda doesn't dwell on it. The world didn't end while he and Lavi took a little time to live for themselves. It's fine.
He doesn't look at Lavi as he gets up and slips quietly outside, knowing, by now, that Lavi will take the cue to follow him out. He just leans against the wall with his arms loosely crossed, waiting; when Lavi joins him, he looks over.]
[we'll do what hoshino isn't brave enough to do.... finally kill off lavi....
Lavi's always known that he'd have to hear about everything he's missed from someone who ISN'T Kanda, but he's bowled over at just how much Kanda didn't mention. These are pretty big gaps???? Not that he's surprised that Kanda didn't say anything about Link because why would he, and it's not like the others expect Lavi to be up to date, but still -- he's too much of a Bookman not to be annoyed by his lack of knowledge. Fortunately, no one else is as close-mouthed as Kanda (besides Allen, whose story had to be yanked from bit by cajoling bit, reminding Lavi yet again of how similar Allen and Kanda are), so it doesn't take long for Lavi to finally figure out what's going on.
(Of course, the knowing doesn't answer his other questions, like where Gramps is and whether or not he's safe, but... he knew he wouldn't get those answers when he made the decision to follow Kanda.)
And now that he's up to speed, he's quick to fall back into the persona he's used to. It's what the others expect from him, so it's what he gives -- teasing Allen, trying to get a rise out of Link, listening to Johnny go on about the newest golem updates. Maybe he should find it suffocating after trying to break out of his shell, but it's the exact opposite. It's comforting to be around friends (sans Link) and be reminded that there's something more important than all of his doubts and worries. Something, and also someone.
Lavi's gaze follows Kanda as he leaves -- it's a good thing everyone else is asleep or they'd catch the expression on his face and then really start to wonder -- and then the rest of him goes too, drifting closer and closer as Kanda asks him an important, pertinent question about his thoughts on plot.]
Lavi doesn't SMIRK EMOJI but he does grin like he always does whenever Kanda shoots him looks of DEATH, sidling closer until he's right next to Kanda, teehee]
Cause it's true! And it's nice. I thought I'd have to wait a lot longer.
[but luckily being on the run saps the energy out of SOME PEOPLE]
[HE GETS BONKED..... as he deserves... he refuses to let this dissuade him from leaning down to hover in front of Kanda's beautiful face,]
I'll be quiet, promise.
[he doesn't want to get caught by link either.... link would be the world's most annoying homophobe fr fr
but he also refuses to let the idea of link stand in the way of HIM AND KANDA!!! which is why he will attempt a quick smooch... just a little smooch... a smoochie perhaps]
[He's a homophobic homosexual... no straight person is that weird about Lvellie of all people
Kanda ROLLS HIS EYES but so graciously does not stab Lavi... wow. He'd never, ever admit it, but he was slowly getting used to Lavi's open and persistent affection during their travels, and it's kind of weird to be so suddenly bereft of it. So even though he's being his usual moody self, he kisses back without much hesitation, hooking his free hand loosely in Lavi's scarf.
Granted, it's not like they're being forced to hide this--nobody's going to scold Lavi in Bookman's place, and while Allen would absolutely be daring enough to comment and provoke Kanda's wrath, he's got other things on his mind right now. Still, despite the inconvenience of sneaking around, Kanda much prefers things this way for now. It's complicated enough to navigate his own thoughts and feelings about this relationship without adding other people's opinions into the mix. And... really, Kanda's just a private person. He likes having something for himself, something that, while partially born from the Order and its darkness, has yet to be defiled by it. Stolen kisses like this are more things he can tuck away in his heart, right alongside Alma's last moments.
But that doesn't stop him from being rude when they break apart... muttered:]
[Lavi's not afraid of what the others would say -- not Allen or Johnny or Link -- because they wouldn't understand the immensity of it all. They would never understand what it means for Lavi to kiss Kanda under the moonlight as himself, and not as "Lavi". Only two people in the entire world would understand -- and one's missing and the other is standing right in front of him, hand tangled in his scarf.
Maybe Lavi's only hiding because deception is so ingrained within him, but what was once second nature is starting to itch. He can hide if Kanda wants, but he can't deny that he'd prefer getting to hold Kanda's hand whenever he likes, without accounting for whoever is around them.
But as much as he just wants to kiss Kanda again, he settles for pressing his hand over Kanda's, expression turning thoughtful as he thinks about plot and not horny...]
If we wanna find Apocryphos and get the heart, then shouldn't we stick with Allen? Since this guy's apparently obsessed with him.
[which makes Lavi think about everyone else obsessed with Allen....]
He's been trouble from day one, just like his shitty perverted general. [Fucking ALLEN AND CROSS!!! GOD.
But, mm. Lavi's not wrong--sticking with Allen wouldn't be a bad idea. Kanda may have reclaimed the title of exorcist, but it's not like he's particularly enthusiastic about going back to the Order, at least not until they've discussed their suspicions and put some kind of plan in place. And there's no telling what's going on with the Fourteenth; Kanda still remembers coming back to the room to find Johnny knocked unconscious, a cold, distant expression on Allen's face. That could happen again at any time, and someone needs to be there if it does.
And yet, Kanda also remembers fighting that thing. Apocryphos. The excruciating pain in his head--the weeks, months, of fighting with his own memory in Scawwy, of knowing he couldn't trust himself without knowing why. Every time he thinks about it, he feels his blood boil; forget the threat to Allen and humanity, Kanda very much wants to track their enemy down and rip it apart out of personal vengeance.
On his own, he'd likely stick with Allen for the same reasons Lavi's laid out. But when he thinks of Lavi going up against Apocryphos, of Lavi screaming in agony as feathers burst from his eyes, he can't help but feel uncomfortable. Reluctant.
It's childish and sentimental, both incredibly dangerous ways of thinking. He's mad at himself for hesitating even this much. There is no running and hiding from danger--they've both given up the chance of that many times over by now. He can't shield Lavi. It's stupid to want to. And it's undeniably frightening that knowing how stupid it is isn't helping at all.
His grip on Lavi's scarf tightens slightly; he presses his lips together and looks to the side, taking a moment to try and pull himself back together. He should've just gone to bed, damn.]
...I don't know if I trust Beansprout's story. [THANKFULLY he has something else he can latch onto, instead of having to think about his terrible and dangerous FEELINGS] I don't think he's lying, but... there's too much weirdness around this Mana guy.
[Lavi listens closely like he always does, watching with his usual keen eye -- made keener by the fact that their relationship is changed from before -- that when he sees Kanda, he no longer looks at him with that precise Bookman lens. Not at a distance, but up close, physically and emotionally. So it doesn't take much for Lavi to notice Kanda's discomfort, eye tracking the press of Kanda's lips and averted gaze. Irritation takes on so many shades, especially on Kanda -- and this specific one doesn't involve Lavi exactly.
'He's annoyed with himself,' Lavi realizes, and while that is clear as day -- the why is a little harder to figure out. A normal person would reach out and try to reassure, and Lavi would if this was anyone else -- but he's learned what works with Kanda and what doesn't. He hums under his breath, drawing his thumb back and forth slowly over Kanda's hand,]
We know that memories can be messed with, so I think it's worth questioning.
[He doesn't disagree, pausing as he flips through his memory for everything he's heard about Mana Walker -- but all he knows is what everyone else already has. Maybe if Gramps was here instead of him...
then again, if Bookman was here, then he'd make a different decision.]
I didn't think of the past when I made my wish -- so whatever memory bullshit happened back then is probably still in effect now.
[but at least this way they can safeguard themselves from Apocryphos trying to mindmeld them in the future... at least... not without permission]
[It's a small gesture, but it feels nice anyway--comforting, even though Kanda would, of course, adamantly deny needing anything even remotely resembling comfort. His grip on Lavi's scarf isn't particularly tight to begin with, but his hand relaxes the slightest bit anyway.]
Mm. [Haha yeah who would want their memories changed.... probably a lot of people tbh BUT NOT THEM!!! Kanda's had enough of that shit THANK YOU VERY MUCH.] Well, we can't fix that, [at least as far as Kanda knows] so there's only one other way to check.
[And as much as he would love to storm off and chop Apocryphos into microscopic pieces... right now, he would much rather drag Lavi off on some grave-robbing adventure instead. It's definitely a stupidly sentimental choice, but--as long as they're following a legitimate lead, Kanda can pretend like it's not running.]
[Maybe Lavi should question this decision more, argue in favor of staying with Allen, but he's not sure how much of that is because he cares about Allen as a friend or because he knows he's a vital piece of history. and if it's more of the latter, then shouldn't he resist? he can't return to a path he's decided to break free from. but he also didn't know it'd be like this -- that he'd have to make these conscious decisions over and over again, instead of just a single clean break.
he curls his hand around Kanda's again, but this time it's more to comfort him,]
Okay. Then that's what we'll do. We can leave after Allen tells us his plans.
[if that's where Kanda will go, then that's where Lavi will follow. a slight, teasing smile spreads across his face,]
And then we can be alone again.
[what about tiedoll -- well listen.... is he here yet maybe he isn't]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
POST-MG
The way this makes it seem like this thread is about to get spicy but Kanda is an idiot so he's just:]
You sound like an Akuma.
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Don't just call me an Akuma......
[THE MOOD KANDA!!! THE MOOD!!!!!!!!!!!]
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You're the one talking about eating flesh. [HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE MOOD]
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[HE JUST SAID THAT KANDA TASTED BETTER IN A HORNY WAY???? the horniness is important... would kanda just beat him up anyway..... probably...
he lets go of Kanda's flesh hands and leans back against him,]
The sun's about to set.
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-------
Kanda's head
But Lavi seems to let it go, so Kanda does too. He moves his now-empty bowl out of the way, drawing one leg up to rest his arm on it--but otherwise, he lets Lavi lean on him and watches as the festival begins to light up with artificial lights. Leaning back a little, in return.]
Yeah. [It's a little surprising--he hadn't thought they'd been out here that long. He's gotten desensitized to enduring gatherings...] Are we heading back?
[He really didn't ask any questions about this festival so he has no idea what Lavi wants to do]
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but for now, he's content to sit here and lean, feeling more peaceful than he's had for weeks. Strange, when he's back in this world and all its familiar dangers, arguably worse than Scawwy's, where an Akuma could appear out of nowhere -- or worse, the Noah -- showing up to finish whatever job they tried to start with Lavi back in China. He waits for that familiar tension, for his shoulders to tense up and for his hands to curl into fists, like they did the first few weeks in Scawwy whenever that fight came to mind.
Instead, his shoulder presses against Kanda's, and he moves his hand idly to and fro, feeling the bracelet slide up and down. He's not stronger or faster or smarter than he was before, but he's still not afraid. He's not thinking of the fight and the numerous ways he could fail at doing better. He's only thinking of the last bit of sunshine on Kanda's face, the breeze teasing strands from his ponytail, and of how he'd like this moment to last forever.]
Later. Let's just watch for a bit.
[Far enough so that the crowd doesn't seem quite as dangerous, lights bright in the distance. They can hear the thumping of drums even on this hill, and at any other time, the music would make Lavi want to dance.
He peeks over at Kanda.... thinking thoughts..... then he reaches his arm out to wrap around Kanda's shoulders, teehee]
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But Kanda nods, accepting that easily. He may not be a festive person, but he likes being outside--and he can see some of the people below them getting up to head back to the festival proper now that the sky is changing colors and distant music is filling the air. More space for them... it's the perfect balance of involvement and distance for someone like Kanda, who keeps away from the thick of things during parties and gatherings but shows up to them nonetheless.
He's perfectly content to just vibe quietly next to Lavi--his guard is never down, but like Lavi, his mind is clear and settled for once. He's not thinking about the difficulty of what they're trying to do, or the constant danger they're in, or even how strange it'll be when they have to part ways again because Komui can't afford to let them stick together. He's spent so much time with all of those thoughts already, and they're sure to keep haunting him later. It won't kill him, he thinks, to sit in the moment right now.
But a clear mind means he's not really thinking about how nice it is to have Lavi beside him, either, even though he feels that way. It's a little startling to feel Lavi's arm around him, but he supposes it shouldn't be--Lavi likes to touch, he knows that very well. He looks away from the festival to eye Lavi's face, searching his expression for any signs of mischief... but if he doesn't find any, then after a little bit of thought, he'll relax (kind of) against him. Permission granted]
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😊😊😊 <- Lavi's expression when Kanda relaxes (kind of) against him, hehehe
Lavi, being very new to the trials and tribulations of dating and opening ones heart to love and affection, feels like the closest to this emotion would be the joy one feels when the neighborhood cat who's been ignoring you for years has finally deigned to affectionately loaf next to you... That's really the closest description he can think of. Luckily for HIM, he knows from experience that the response is not to scoop up said cat and embrace it, but to play it off as casually as possible...
He looks out to the festival and pretends that whatever going on over there is more interesting than the fact that he is sitting next to Kanda, head on his, with his arm around him -- without suffering grievous injury to his head and abdomen for the audacity.]
This is nice.
[HE JUST SAYS OUT LOUD... STUPIDLY...]
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Naturally, Kanda just scoffs, though there's no real heat to it.]
It had better be. [This sounds so arrogant but he assumes Lavi is talking about hanging out and having fun at the festival in general. Imagine if Lavi snuggled up like this and was like "this sucks actually" KANDA WOULD KICK HIS ASS]
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Lavi is also tempted to laugh at this SUPREME CONFIDENCE from a guy who accused Lavi of being like an AKUMA. He snuggles up to him...]
You know what would be nicer?
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What.
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Lavi closes his only eye, tilting his head towards Kanda,]
A kiss!
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Unfortunately he's also in a good mood... which means... it's tempting to be mean for his own amusement...]
Do you deserve it?
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the way my paid ran out but I still have my cat icons
LSDMFLFDS AND UR HAPPY KANDA ICON time to switch for every tag
THAT'S HORRIFYING
banging makes kanda happy......
YEAH BUT HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THAT ABOUT IT
he could.... (pleading)
STOP LAVI WOULD BE SO SCARED
LSDMFDSL (lavi voice) BANGING CHANGED KANDA.....
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renews my paid and realizes 90% of these icons are angry anyway THIS WAS POINTLESS
SKDLFFDS STOP KANDA'S BEAUTIFUL FAAAACE
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the way I got confused bc I was logged in as kaveh... locked out of my own post
U BANNED URSELF ig kaveh and lavi know each other in the superhell mg universe
THEY REALLY DO unless scara destroyed sumeru and kaveh is dead
STOP I WILL SAVE KAVEH
LMFKJHDG he's just stuck in the roller coaster dimension forever
NOOOOO
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starts a second thread just for fun
Around the others, Kanda acts the same as he always does, naturally; apart from the shock of Kanda showing up with Lavi at all after months of him being missing, offering no explanation beyond "found him" because he's KANDA, it's... relatively easy for the others to brush off any changes in their behavior. Lavi's pushed Kanda's boundaries for years, after all, and Kanda went through so much in his absence--tolerating Lavi more openly is hardly worth mentioning compared to the way Kanda's dedicated himself to helping Allen, of all people. And while that might not be enough to satisfy, say, Allen's eagle eye, they currently have far more important things to worry about. If anyone has thoughts about the way , they've wisely kept quiet about it for now.
(The matching bracelets are harder to wave off, and Kanda hasn't bothered to keep his hidden, but he's also the king of refusing to explain himself, so maybe it all balances out?? WHO'S TO SAY.)
It's been a very long day, and Kanda isn't surprised when the others fall asleep early--they weren't put through the Scawwy wringer like Lavi and Kanda were, but they didn't have the time to recuperate, either. A tiny, tiny part of him feels a little guilty for their dawdling, but Kanda doesn't dwell on it. The world didn't end while he and Lavi took a little time to live for themselves. It's fine.
He doesn't look at Lavi as he gets up and slips quietly outside, knowing, by now, that Lavi will take the cue to follow him out. He just leans against the wall with his arms loosely crossed, waiting; when Lavi joins him, he looks over.]
So?
[WHAT ARE UR THOUGHTS ON THE PLOT LAVI]
HEHEHEHEHE
Lavi's always known that he'd have to hear about everything he's missed from someone who ISN'T Kanda, but he's bowled over at just how much Kanda didn't mention. These are pretty big gaps???? Not that he's surprised that Kanda didn't say anything about Link because why would he, and it's not like the others expect Lavi to be up to date, but still -- he's too much of a Bookman not to be annoyed by his lack of knowledge. Fortunately, no one else is as close-mouthed as Kanda (besides Allen, whose story had to be yanked from bit by cajoling bit, reminding Lavi yet again of how similar Allen and Kanda are), so it doesn't take long for Lavi to finally figure out what's going on.
(Of course, the knowing doesn't answer his other questions, like where Gramps is and whether or not he's safe, but... he knew he wouldn't get those answers when he made the decision to follow Kanda.)
And now that he's up to speed, he's quick to fall back into the persona he's used to. It's what the others expect from him, so it's what he gives -- teasing Allen, trying to get a rise out of Link, listening to Johnny go on about the newest golem updates. Maybe he should find it suffocating after trying to break out of his shell, but it's the exact opposite. It's comforting to be around friends (sans Link) and be reminded that there's something more important than all of his doubts and worries. Something, and also someone.
Lavi's gaze follows Kanda as he leaves -- it's a good thing everyone else is asleep or they'd catch the expression on his face and then really start to wonder -- and then the rest of him goes too, drifting closer and closer as Kanda asks him an important, pertinent question about his thoughts on plot.]
We're finally alone... Feels kinda scandalous.
[NO]
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FOR NOW AT LEAST?? EXCEPT THEN LAVI OPENS HIS MOUTH TO BE HIMSELF AND KANDA JUST GIVES HIM THE FLATTEST LOOK]
Why is that the first thing you say?!
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Lavi doesn't SMIRK EMOJI but he does grin like he always does whenever Kanda shoots him looks of DEATH, sidling closer until he's right next to Kanda, teehee]
Cause it's true! And it's nice. I thought I'd have to wait a lot longer.
[but luckily being on the run saps the energy out of SOME PEOPLE]
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You'll wake them up if you're too loud. [And then Link will be out here bothering them and nobody wants that]
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I'll be quiet, promise.
[he doesn't want to get caught by link either.... link would be the world's most annoying homophobe fr fr
but he also refuses to let the idea of link stand in the way of HIM AND KANDA!!! which is why he will attempt a quick smooch... just a little smooch... a smoochie perhaps]
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Kanda ROLLS HIS EYES but so graciously does not stab Lavi... wow. He'd never, ever admit it, but he was slowly getting used to Lavi's open and persistent affection during their travels, and it's kind of weird to be so suddenly bereft of it. So even though he's being his usual moody self, he kisses back without much hesitation, hooking his free hand loosely in Lavi's scarf.
Granted, it's not like they're being forced to hide this--nobody's going to scold Lavi in Bookman's place, and while Allen would absolutely be daring enough to comment and provoke Kanda's wrath, he's got other things on his mind right now. Still, despite the inconvenience of sneaking around, Kanda much prefers things this way for now. It's complicated enough to navigate his own thoughts and feelings about this relationship without adding other people's opinions into the mix. And... really, Kanda's just a private person. He likes having something for himself, something that, while partially born from the Order and its darkness, has yet to be defiled by it. Stolen kisses like this are more things he can tuck away in his heart, right alongside Alma's last moments.
But that doesn't stop him from being rude when they break apart... muttered:]
Don't ignore me. [HE ASKED YOU A QUESTION, BRAT]
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Maybe Lavi's only hiding because deception is so ingrained within him, but what was once second nature is starting to itch. He can hide if Kanda wants, but he can't deny that he'd prefer getting to hold Kanda's hand whenever he likes, without accounting for whoever is around them.
But as much as he just wants to kiss Kanda again, he settles for pressing his hand over Kanda's, expression turning thoughtful as he thinks about plot and not horny...]
If we wanna find Apocryphos and get the heart, then shouldn't we stick with Allen? Since this guy's apparently obsessed with him.
[which makes Lavi think about everyone else obsessed with Allen....]
Allen sure is popular...
[IS THAT THE WORD FOR IT....]
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He's been trouble from day one, just like his shitty perverted general. [Fucking ALLEN AND CROSS!!! GOD.
But, mm. Lavi's not wrong--sticking with Allen wouldn't be a bad idea. Kanda may have reclaimed the title of exorcist, but it's not like he's particularly enthusiastic about going back to the Order, at least not until they've discussed their suspicions and put some kind of plan in place. And there's no telling what's going on with the Fourteenth; Kanda still remembers coming back to the room to find Johnny knocked unconscious, a cold, distant expression on Allen's face. That could happen again at any time, and someone needs to be there if it does.
And yet, Kanda also remembers fighting that thing. Apocryphos. The excruciating pain in his head--the weeks, months, of fighting with his own memory in Scawwy, of knowing he couldn't trust himself without knowing why. Every time he thinks about it, he feels his blood boil; forget the threat to Allen and humanity, Kanda very much wants to track their enemy down and rip it apart out of personal vengeance.
On his own, he'd likely stick with Allen for the same reasons Lavi's laid out. But when he thinks of Lavi going up against Apocryphos, of Lavi screaming in agony as feathers burst from his eyes, he can't help but feel uncomfortable. Reluctant.
It's childish and sentimental, both incredibly dangerous ways of thinking. He's mad at himself for hesitating even this much. There is no running and hiding from danger--they've both given up the chance of that many times over by now. He can't shield Lavi. It's stupid to want to. And it's undeniably frightening that knowing how stupid it is isn't helping at all.
His grip on Lavi's scarf tightens slightly; he presses his lips together and looks to the side, taking a moment to try and pull himself back together. He should've just gone to bed, damn.]
...I don't know if I trust Beansprout's story. [THANKFULLY he has something else he can latch onto, instead of having to think about his terrible and dangerous FEELINGS] I don't think he's lying, but... there's too much weirdness around this Mana guy.
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'He's annoyed with himself,' Lavi realizes, and while that is clear as day -- the why is a little harder to figure out. A normal person would reach out and try to reassure, and Lavi would if this was anyone else -- but he's learned what works with Kanda and what doesn't. He hums under his breath, drawing his thumb back and forth slowly over Kanda's hand,]
We know that memories can be messed with, so I think it's worth questioning.
[He doesn't disagree, pausing as he flips through his memory for everything he's heard about Mana Walker -- but all he knows is what everyone else already has. Maybe if Gramps was here instead of him...
then again, if Bookman was here, then he'd make a different decision.]
I didn't think of the past when I made my wish -- so whatever memory bullshit happened back then is probably still in effect now.
[but at least this way they can safeguard themselves from Apocryphos trying to mindmeld them in the future... at least... not without permission]
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Mm. [Haha yeah who would want their memories changed.... probably a lot of people tbh BUT NOT THEM!!! Kanda's had enough of that shit THANK YOU VERY MUCH.] Well, we can't fix that, [at least as far as Kanda knows] so there's only one other way to check.
[And as much as he would love to storm off and chop Apocryphos into microscopic pieces... right now, he would much rather drag Lavi off on some grave-robbing adventure instead. It's definitely a stupidly sentimental choice, but--as long as they're following a legitimate lead, Kanda can pretend like it's not running.]
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he curls his hand around Kanda's again, but this time it's more to comfort him,]
Okay. Then that's what we'll do. We can leave after Allen tells us his plans.
[if that's where Kanda will go, then that's where Lavi will follow. a slight, teasing smile spreads across his face,]
And then we can be alone again.
[what about tiedoll -- well listen.... is he here yet maybe he isn't]
attempts to phone tag on this weird new phone
UR IPHONE
STOP I'M TOO POOR FOR AN IPHONE
ur (scawwy voice) nokia....
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